August 06, 2005 | 08:00 PM
Buddha, hope
Thanks to friend and co- writer, Deepak Chopra,
the hope for Buddha as a film has been re-ignited
a raging fire in my bieng was dowsed,
but a lamp still burns
reaching out to inflame my passions once again
a director in the middle of a film
is like a pregnant mother
vulnerable, emotional and willing to do anything
to protect the little child in her womb,
even die of hunger herself, as the child feeds on her body
and fight like a tigress if she has to
but also like a protective mother,
I make sure that everything is safe
solid
in anticipation of pregnancy
and when people treat me
with callousness
they dont see that it is not a personal ego that cries out
but the ego of creativity
the fear of a terrible pregnancy
the fear of loosing the baby
and perhaps the decision not to get pregnant
perhaps the only way out for me
is not be so vulnerable
but then,
how can I be the conduit of creativity
and not completely surrender to it ?
How can not be completely vulnerable ?
So in which hands do I put myself
when I am so vulnerable ?
destiny and fate perhaps,
I am not sure
shekhar
4 Comments Posted. Post your comment
This has been a while now, but I was wondering Shekhar, if the actors have been cast for this movie...and who they are?
Cinda
....IT HAD TO HAPPEN ....
...These thoughts will move to and fro... and it'll get completed ...
...REALIZATION...
Hi Shekhar, I a bit disappointed to know that Shyam Benegal is also making a film on Buddha this year. disappointed because i feel.......creating buddha is not just about film or art, otherwise any good director would make it, the script is rolling from many years. One has to be a buddha to attempt a film on buddha...i sincerely wish that you make it...i just saw the graphic of your film in another post and i think you are gonna create magic of it and gave such a great perspective of life through this story which suits you more than any filmmaker of the world. I mean it. Where are you, don't stop visiting this post of yours...keep the light ignited (*)
an acting teacher, i think it was uta hagen, once said that to be an actor one has to have 'the hide of an elephant and the soul of a rose.' guess its true for you directors as well, huh? but damn if that isn't hard. it seems that if you wanna make a film or be in a film or write a film etc, that 'no' is everyone else's favorite word. i sometimes feel like someone has my rose in their hand and is wacking it on a table top over and over and over again. and then i'll be on set, and the bell has rung, and everyone is quiet, the director has called action and i can hear the faint whirrrr of the film moving through the camera and it all falls away...that split second before i speak holds lifetimes of ecstacy and peace and joy and whooooo!!! i love film!! i love art!! that's it. that moment makes all the rest of this crap so very worth it. a virtual toast: to hoping you feel that feeling again very very very very soon!
p